Respect Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

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Why don't poor people go to funerals?

They can't afford to pay respects.

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

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Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

Why are eagles so hard to find?

They're always in diskies

Houseboat Jokes More Houseboat Jokes

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What is the integral of 1/cabin?

B: "Log cabin!" A: "Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."

Funniest Jokes More Funniest Jokes

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

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What do you call a Children's show with some Alcohol added in?

Booze Clues.

Whats camp for kids with ADD called?

Concentration camp.

Profession Jokes More Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

What do you call a person with memory problems telling a joke?

To get to the other side.

Forgot Jokes More Forgot Jokes

Where can you always find kids by themselves?

edit: i forgot to say please.

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."