Tv Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

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What do you call someone who belongs in the kitchen?

A Chef of course...

What political party does Jon Snow belong to?

The Know-Nothings!

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What happens when you find bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

Remote Control Jokes More Remote Control Jokes

What is the pinnacle of laziness?

Having a remote control for your remote control.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Remote Island Jokes More Remote Island Jokes

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation?

To Palm Beach.

Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?

At the Howliday Inn!