Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Santa get the day after Christmas?

Diabetes

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What famous painting do cows love to look at?

The Moona Lisa!

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why does that guy always get all the women?

I don't know...he isn't very handsome or rich" "And he's a terrible conversationalist - all he does is sit there licking his eyebrows"

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

Why did the cow return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Why are flowering plants such good test takers?

Because they have all of the anthers!

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.