Pot Jokes

What do you call a potato that had too much pot?

A baked potato

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Why did the cow return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why was the kettle angry at the pot?

For making false acc sations.

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

What's the difference between America and a pot of yogurt?

If you leave a pot of yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture.

What do you get when you smoke pot with a bee in a candy shop?

A sweet buzz!

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in the pot?

Because one more would be "two-fahrty"

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It might take a while for me to get hard, I was just laid by a chick.

What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot?

Baked ham.

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?

To pot the brown.

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of pot?

What's that noise?

What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water?

I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard.

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

What do you tell a mathematician if he does drugs?

You're high-on-pot...enuse. Thanks Key&Peele, I'll see myself out.

What did the egg say to a pot of boiling water?

I'm not ready to get hard yet, I just got laid!"

What's the difference between a tuna a piano and a pot of glue..?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna What about the pot of glue reddit will ask. Hahahahaha I knew you'd get stuck there

What do a tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

the Steaks are high."

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue I knew you'd get stuck.

What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?

Leave the plunger in the pot.

Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

What does a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

Where do pots go on vacation?

JaPAN! From my 9 year old.

Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields?

It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back...

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

What's the difference between a pot of glue, a tuna, and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar but you can't guitar a tuna!

What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?

X marks the pot, matey."

What's the difference between a gamer and a pot of boiling water?

A pot of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it.

What's do pot and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

How many men does it take to make popcorn?

Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove.

What does an egg say to a pot of boiling water?

It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

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What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant?

Did you planet?

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

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Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

What kind of fish loves to fix instruments?

A tuna.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

What do you get when Italians join ISIS?

Baked Yazidi

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

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What do you call a high retarded person?

A baked potato

What do you call a chubby girl that's high?

A baked potato.

Boiling Water Jokes More Boiling Water Jokes

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

Why did Bill Gates get sick?

Because he left the Windows open.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler?

A flat minor

Bear Hand Jokes More Bear Hand Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

How does a grizzly catch fish?

With his bear hands!