What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What should you buy if your hair falls out ?

A good vacuum cleaner !

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

What did the mermaid forget to bring to the maths lesson?

Her algae bra.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happens if you feed Link some Speed?

you get a Hyperlink ...

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the definition of awful?

Putting a bomb on a disabled person's back and telling him to run.

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

Why couldn't the banana get a date?

It didn't have a peel.

Gf Jokes More Gf Jokes

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk