Gf Jokes

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

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What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

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What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Miscarriage Jokes More Miscarriage Jokes

What starts with "M" ends with "arriage" and recently made me the happiest man on earth?

Miscarriage

What's 9 inches long, pink, and women scream when you put in their mouth?

Their miscarriage

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Why did the mummy cry himself to sleep every night?

Because he was empty inside.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.

Laundry Jokes More Laundry Jokes

Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road?

To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget.

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry!

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

Curious United