Gf Jokes

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

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What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

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What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

How does a potato keep up with it's friends?

With Google chromosome+

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?

A: He wanted to see time fly.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking?

Parkinson's

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do you get when you turn 4 blondes upside down?

4 brunettes

How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

What does FUN stand for?

Some nights, I don't know.

How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Bathtub Jokes More Bathtub Jokes

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What kind of TV show do felines watch?

Catoons

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

Put it down, Tyrone!"

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How do you describe the life of a redditor?

removed

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress