Gf Jokes

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

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What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

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What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?

I replied.

Miscarriage Jokes More Miscarriage Jokes

Why was pregnant Cinderella late to the ball?

Miscarriage

Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth?

Our miscarriage.

Laundry Jokes More Laundry Jokes

What do you call A man doing Laundry?

Non-existent

Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry?

Because red shirts die easily.

Good Boy Jokes More Good Boy Jokes

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

Where do all the good boys go to hide away?

r/cringepics Based off Daya's song "Hide Away"

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

What did the bro say to the bro who couldn't make it to the party because he didn't have a car?

Do you even Lyft

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Name Jokes More Name Jokes

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch?

Names! -Bo Burnham

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

What do call you someone who feeds on comatose patients and pizza?

A vegetarian.