What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

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What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

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What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

How do Germans tie their shoelaces?

In little knotsies....

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What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

What did Katy Perry steal from Dr. Frankenstein's closet?

The Tie of the Igor.

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What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?