Knot Jokes

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

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What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?

Knot cool

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What's a sailor's favorite kind of knot?

It's a tie.

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

Why do dogs make good sailors?

They know their knots.

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

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Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs?

Two pirates

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space."

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

I need space.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why do we have oceans?

Because based god and acid god had a baby.

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

What are Bill Gates latest projects?

Needle upscaling and camel miniaturization.

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How did a blind man meet his wife?

A: On a blind date!

What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS?

Acting surprised.

Tail Jokes More Tail Jokes

Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

Because he was trying to make both ends meet.

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

Arctic Jokes More Arctic Jokes

Which alligator lives in the arctic?

The refridgegator.

What do you call a group of people standing in the arctic circle?

A Finnish line.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

A: Root position cords.

How do you make an Italian deaf?

Tie their hands behind their back.