What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What is David Bowie's zodiac sign?

Cancer.

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How do Russians drive to Alaska?

By bearing straight

Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

Adopt Jokes More Adopt Jokes

Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy

Why did the cowboy adopt a Weiner dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Bad News Bear Jokes More Bad News Bear Jokes

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny