What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who else have gone through this Sarcasm?

Me: Baby, I was thinking about you so sending you She: Thanks for Thinking

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?

They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%?

This calls for Jurastic changes

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

Cnn Jokes More Cnn Jokes

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.