Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?

It wanted to get to the other site !

What the hell are you going to do with 30 dollars?

Why do you want 10 dollars

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, "is that short for Jimberly?

and I have few friends in real life.

How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun?

Shoot the people pushing it.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl?

This is unacceptable.

How does the chef prepare the chicken?

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Menu Jokes More Menu Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu?

The prices were gastronomical... (I'll show myself out...)

Special Jokes More Special Jokes

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.