Where did the frog say his family came from?

They are German and a tad-Polish"

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

When you're away on a business trip, do you think about me?

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the German watch repairer say to his watch that would only go tick, tick, tick?

A: "Ve have vays of making you tock!"

How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial?

He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What happened to the frog that broke down?

It got toad away.

Why are frogs no good at websurfing?

Computers have them toad-ily confused.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet?

I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

Why did the introvert polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.