Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

7 Jokes More 7 Jokes

Why couldn't Hillary win the election?

Women only win .7 votes for every one a man wins.

Why did the French police arrested the Muslim teenager?

Because he was trying to detonate a Samsung Note 7.

Anybody Jokes More Anybody Jokes

Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

What did the Russian woman say to her violent husband?

Vladislav, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Sloth Jokes More Sloth Jokes

What did Sloth say when he found gold?

AU GUYS!!!

What is a Sloth's favorite breakfast food?

Slothages.

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday?

Just chilling.

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

Little Guy Jokes More Little Guy Jokes

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

Why "Trojan" condoms?

Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out Less than stellar marketing.