Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why was the baguette excited for his audition?

He heard he might be playing a big roll

Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

New Zealand Jokes More New Zealand Jokes

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

They saw what happened to the sheep

What do you call a shorn sheep in a New Zealand bar?

A skimpy.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla?

My zipper

Skirt Jokes More Skirt Jokes

Why don't women wear skirts in the winter?

Ever try and peel apart a cold grilled cheese sandwich

What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?

A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.