Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny?

Hey, this looks new!"

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What does a Pokemon baby say to his dad in Star Wars?

Waba Fett

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How did Tiger Woods get the name Tiger?

His mom is Thai and his dad is.......

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

Why don't you wear snow boots?

A: Because they'll melt.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What does Jimmy Buffett's chicken say?

It's 5 o'cluck somewhere.

What does fast and furious 5 and the walking dead have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Makeup Jokes More Makeup Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Aww Jokes More Aww Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."