Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.
Bill Cosby
You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.
Polly want a quacker!
2 nuns in a chainsaw fight!
The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts
A fried Chicken leg
Crispin Glover.
Slow the pace and apply more lube!
He dumped his girlfriend.
17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins
A family friend paying a visit.
Prisoner: For a lark sir.
You get Talibanned
A webinar.
You hit rock bottom!
I don't know. They've never tried.
They can't defend towers.
