Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a mentally ill person without arms and legs?

Call him whatever you want, its not like he's gonna get up and do anything about it.

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

War Jokes More War Jokes

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

How did the octopus go to the war?

Well armed...

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why did the Turkey join the band?

because he had two Drumsticks.

Why must you be religious to join the Navy?

Because it's a place of war ship.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why did the brothel run out of money?

Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?

Skip

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?

Invite an accountant.

Why was Mussolini never invited to parties?

He was always fascistly late.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?

Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

What do pigs do on nice afternoons?

They go on pignics.