Affect Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

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How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Why does black lives matter affect the postal service?

They have white mail privilege.

What country's citizens are most affected by global warming?

South Koreans

What do you call a disaster that only affected shopping malls?

A catashopic.

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck

What do you call a virus that affects the command line?

Terminal Illness

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

What do you call a virus that affects your command-line?

A Terminal Illness.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Bola Jokes More Bola Jokes

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

Disaster Jokes More Disaster Jokes

What did the hurricane say to Hillary?

I didn't know disasters can run for office

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

Society Jokes More Society Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

How do you say hello to a femnist?

You don't. To do so would violate her wish to not be part of the society she lives in.

Ebola Jokes More Ebola Jokes

What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola?

At least Ebola will finish me off

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring?

They conducted an in-turtle investigation.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't the train lady have a baby?

Because she's miss carriaged.

What do you call a baby Mexican?

A paragraph because he's not quite an essay (ese)

Virus Jokes More Virus Jokes

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold?

Because he is a bad influenza

Global Warming Jokes More Global Warming Jokes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

What does the future hold?

Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even.