Affect Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

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How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Why does black lives matter affect the postal service?

They have white mail privilege.

What country's citizens are most affected by global warming?

South Koreans

What do you call a disaster that only affected shopping malls?

A catashopic.

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck

What do you call a virus that affects the command line?

Terminal Illness

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

What do you call a virus that affects your command-line?

A Terminal Illness.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring?

They conducted an in-turtle investigation.

Neckbeard Jokes More Neckbeard Jokes

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

Bola Jokes More Bola Jokes

What did they call Ebola before the Internet?

Bola

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

Terminal Illness Jokes More Terminal Illness Jokes

What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive?

Terminal illness.

Why was the airport depressed?

It had a terminal illness.

Disaster Jokes More Disaster Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

How did your blind date go?

Bit of a disaster really, our guide Dogs started Fighting

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

What do you call the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?

a Brexit

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit

Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

They hit the town and blow a few bucks.

Why did the hillbillies save some doe?

Because they knew it would give them a buck in good time.