Cough Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse."

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Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little hoarse!!!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

What does Cinderella say when she gets to the ball?

cough* *cough*

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse."

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

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How do you catch a red elephant?

A: With a red elephant trap.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young?

Budweiser

What does a college kid do when confronted by an evil spirit?

He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish?

Adidos!

What do people from the 1930's and /r/news jokes have in common?

They're both old.

Sick Horse Jokes More Sick Horse Jokes

Where do you take a sick horse?

To the Horspital!

What do you give a sick horse?

Cough stirrup.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the dinosaur go to jail?

Because he was a child molester.

Why Did The Vulcanologist Go To Jail?

Because he, basalt-ed someone. Ba

Phlegm Jokes More Phlegm Jokes

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

Little Horse Jokes More Little Horse Jokes

Why couldn't the pony sing?

He was a little horse.

What do you call it when you finger a pony?

Feeling a little horse.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one sick casket say to the other sick casket?

Is that you, coffin?

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.