Delay Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game?

They needed to give their characters an eye-patch.

Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport?

he was on a watch list...

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

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Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

What does Debbie Reynolds sing in heaven?

Good mourning, good mourning, good mourning!!!

Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?

Hell was full.

People Jokes More People Jokes

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

What if we gave people enough for three fries?

guy who invented ketchup packets

April Fool Jokes More April Fool Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes?

Prankenstein!

Character Jokes More Character Jokes

What do characters at Disney World and strippers have in common?

No touching!

What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?

An elven degenerate.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Who makes a million dollars a day?

Someone who works in a mint.

What do beekeepers say when they go to work?

Alright, let's get down to beeswax!"