Drunk Driver Jokes

What's the difference between a high and drunk driver?

The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.

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What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

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How can you tell if it is a Salvador Dali painting?

One of the clouds in the background is blowing another one.

What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat?

The NBA draft

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between tuna, glue and a piano?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!

What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue ?

wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?"

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Stone Driver Jokes More Stone Driver Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What happened to the the Pentagon after the plane crash in 9/11?

It turned into a hexagon.

When is a farmer like a magician?

A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus?

I don't know but I'm sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton.