Executioner Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

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What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

How does the executioner like his coffee?

Decap

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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Decap Jokes More Decap Jokes

What kind of coffee does an executioner drink?

Decap

How does the executioner like his coffee?

Decap

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why is it wrong to be on the left?

Because it's not right.

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?

In the croakroom !

Noose Jokes More Noose Jokes

What does Pingu say when he feels suicidal?

Noose Noose

How can you tell if a black guy is well hung?

You can't fit your finger between the noose and his neck.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

How do you know if someone's an expert archer?

Put an apple on your head &amp stand still he'll Tell you.

Behead Jokes More Behead Jokes

Why did Marie Antoinette travel the world?

Where else would she beheaded

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bee can never make up its mind?

A maybe

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

A: Rep Tiles

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What does it mean when a doctor has both hands on your shoulders?

The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.