Heinz Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

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Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call... What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

A doyouthinkhesawus (saurus)!

Why did the blind couple get divorced?

They couldn't see eye to eye

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

Why is ketchup married to mustard?

Cause ketchup accidentally broke the condiment.

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does aerosmith say when someone asks them for directions?

Walk this way

What did the pamphlet say to the booklet when it asked for help?

Bro sure!

2020 Jokes More 2020 Jokes

Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

People Jokes More People Jokes

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

Walter White Jokes More Walter White Jokes

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation..."

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.