Inspire Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

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What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

Who inspires you?

ME: Peter Piper. INTERVIEWER: What does he do ME: It's difficult to say.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

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Coup Jokes More Coup Jokes

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

How did colonel Sanders take over the chicken market?

A coup.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What does Sherlock call his friends?

His Holmies

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A: A horse and rider.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

Steeped in mystery!

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?

Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child

Why is 12 the highest number rednecks can count to?

How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

How many designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Does it really have to be a lightbulb

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest?

The bomb vest actually does something when triggered.

Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

Because he'd D graded her.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Can't be done, it's a hardware problem.

How many blonde's does it take to screw In a light bulb?

3: One holds the light bulb, and the other two spin the Chair.