Kim Kardashian Jokes

Why was Kim Kardashian arrested at the airport?

She had two pounds of crack in her knickers.

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What did Kim Kardashian's right leg say to her left leg?

Nothing, they've never been together!

What did the Los Angeles Lakers finish on tuesday?

Kim Kardashian's face.

What does Kanye West call Kim Kardashian when she has a yeast infection?

Yeasty I'll show myself out

What is the difference between your mom and Kim Kardashian?

One is a dirty whore and the other is Kim Kardashian.

This joke may have profanity.

What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common?

They're both made up.

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian?

Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How did Kanye West ask Kim Kardashian to marry him ??

will i marry you?"

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What is Kim Kardashian's favorite hockey team?

The Chicago Blackhawks

How does Kim Kardashian like her eggs?

Over-Yeezy.

What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.

What does Robert, Khloe, and Kim Kardashian all have in common?

They all know how to get black men off.

How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe?

GrammysRedCarpet

What do you say when Kim Kardashian burns to the ground?

Look at all that ash...

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash?

Whites occasionally get inside a colored wash.

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

How did Kim Kardashian break the net?

She sat on it.

Why couldn't Kim Kardashian see Caitlyn Jenner?

Because she was trans-parent.

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

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How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN"

What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work?

The aftermath

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do a brick and I have in common?

We both get laid by hand.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks?

Your girlfriend!

What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget?

My girlfriend

East Coast Jokes More East Coast Jokes

What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What's the difference between a lesbian and a sperm whale?

Fifty pounds and a flannel shirt.

What happens when two dogs breed in a pound?

Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.

Liberace Jokes More Liberace Jokes

How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe?

GrammysRedCarpet

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

What do you call a potato who puts videos online?

A Youtuber

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...