Forgot Jokes

What does amnesia mean?

Someone told me but I forgot.

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Where can you always find kids by themselves?

edit: i forgot to say please.

What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient?

I forgot.

What's the worst thing about living with Alzheimer's?

I forgot

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?

Oh shoot, I forgot...

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Regret Jokes More Regret Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an unwanted baby?

One's a rugrat, the other's a regret.

What's the difference ?

What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

When you do this, there are 4,111,093,0003.666 "humorists". 2/3rds of a person?

Really

What do you call a person who wears adult diapers?

Ehh, it depends.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

Tea Jokes More Tea Jokes

What kind of tea isn't fake?

A property

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

Petrol Jokes More Petrol Jokes

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

How do you make a cat go "Woof!"?

Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)

Rucksack Jokes More Rucksack Jokes

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head?

A seasoned traveller.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man who opens the car door for you?

A chauffeur.

What do you do when you see a fire man?

Put it out man!

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!