Afford Jokes

How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

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How can a dog afford to go to college?

Furnancial Aid

What does a feminist get when she can't afford a punching bag?

A boyfriend.

Why don't poor people go to funerals?

They can't afford to pay respects.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Why do hens sit on eggs?

because they're too poor to afford chairs.

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

it was repossessed!

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?

You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

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Why was that?

Caspar: She couldn't afford a dog.

Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

What do you call gigabytes in Africa?

They can't afford computers in Africa.

Why did the peasant have poor judgement?

He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Why are so many people in San Francisco homeless?

They can't afford an apartment because they only make 50 grand per year.

Why do Mexicans have so many babies?

Because they're too poor to afford condoms.

This joke may have profanity.

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

Why don't you marry her?

Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What is the meaning of afford?

It's the car most sales representatives drive.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ?

He prawned everything !

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office?

They do it right first time.

Truck Jokes More Truck Jokes

How much does a truck full of bones weigh?

A skeleTon

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

What do you call an egg that cures cancer?

A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.

Repossess Jokes More Repossess Jokes

What happens if you don't pay after an exorcism?

You'll get repossessed!

Why should you be sure to pay your exorcist on time?

You wouldn't want to get repossessed!

Support Jokes More Support Jokes

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)

Nest Jokes More Nest Jokes

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?

To get in his nest.

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

Haunt House Jokes More Haunt House Jokes

Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house?

She didn't have the balls.

How do you get into a haunted house?

By using a spookey!

Economy Jokes More Economy Jokes

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.