Scottish Man Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

You might also enjoy:

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do mermaids wear bras?

To cover up their Ariel-as.

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love?

Yeah you like that you dirty pore

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!

What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants?

Where my knickers at "

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

Why did Scottish baby sneeze?

It got week old.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground?

No depth perception.

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated?

Hmm No risk do both.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.