What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?

Right where ya left him.

What do you call a guy with no arms &amp no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What has two heads and six legs?

Nirvana

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset?

The variables aren't necessarily related.

What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj?

A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**! :-P

Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

How do dogs like their eggs cooked?

Pooched.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?

It wanted to get to the other site !

Why did the stoner cross the road?

A: Who else would follow a chicken

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why does a giraffe have a long neck?

Cause its feet smell.

Why did so many people support the colonist protest of tea?

Cause everyone wanted'a "boo" tea!

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What concert costs 45 cents?

A concert that costs 45 cents.

How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

Alarm Jokes More Alarm Jokes

How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping?

They SETI their alarm-y

What did the spud lover do before it went to bed?

A: It set its alarm for eight -- so it would get a potato clock.

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!