Swim Jokes

What's black and can't swim?

A microwave oven.

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What do you do in your free time?

I stalk. " "Really I go swimming and for long hikes" "I know.".

What do you call four Mexicans who can't swim?

Cuatro cincos.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

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America Jokes More America Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

Why can't America play chess?

They are missing 2 towers

Squirrel Jokes More Squirrel Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb?

Because, they're so darn stupid!

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics?

Walking.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

What do you call 100 cows masterbating ?

Beef Strokenoff

Schoolbus Jokes More Schoolbus Jokes

What's big, yellow, and can't swim?

A schoolbus full of children.

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

How do I know?

They have already told everybody about 6 times in 5 minutes

What pier is disliked by almost everybody?

Piers Morgan.

Jimmy Carter Jokes More Jimmy Carter Jokes

How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same?

They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

Why does Jimmy Carter swim on his back?

To keep his nuts dry.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What's a Canadian's favorite footwear?

Aboot

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!