Torture Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

How do you torture Hellen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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What did the horse say to the other horse?

Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!

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What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

How did Bourne send data to the CIA?

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What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave?

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Why is Russian the most dangerous language to learn?

Because it's Russki.

Why are Russians so heartless?

Because organ traders offer good price.

Unwilling Agnostic Jokes More Unwilling Agnostic Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What's the difference between a refugee and E.T?

E.T learned English and wanted to go home.

What did the worm want to do when he grew up?

He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

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Why did the cop shoot the insomniac?

He was resisting a rest

What do you get... ... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic?

Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Gulag to you too.

What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.