Transplant Jokes

What did the tree say while it was being transplanted?

Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!

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What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery?

A transplant

What does a redneck garden gnome hate more than anything?

Transplants

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?

A: They've had little use.

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Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

What did the cactus say to his wife?

Aloe Vera!

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What do you love most in the world?

Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What does IS call the evolutionary theory that humans are descended from the ape family?

Boko Harambe

What helps humans get laid but is deadly for fish?

Pick up lines

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Whats the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

Having to drop the bomb on them twice before they get it.

Cough Jokes More Cough Jokes

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

What does Cinderella say when she gets to the ball?

cough* *cough*

Delivery Jokes More Delivery Jokes

What a common problem with r/jokes and FedEx?

Delivery

What do you call a liver transplant?

A delivery.

Phlegm Jokes More Phlegm Jokes

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm