Weasel Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

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What do you get when you cross a weasel with a whale?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

What about the weasel?

That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

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Recognise Jokes More Recognise Jokes

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One is weasily recognised and the other is stoatally different

How can you recognise a blind man among a crowd of nudists?

It's not hard...

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub?

The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay?

He had served his sentence.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Why did Gateway computers go out of business?

Because they led to stronger and addictive computers.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

What do you call two black guys walking down the street?

Nothing. Are you racist or something?

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

Why aren't there any jokes about Jim Jones?

The punchlines are too long.

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

What happened when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.

What's Blue, Orange and Lying at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool?

What's blue, orange and lying at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with popped floaties.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have gonorrhea?

Getting the news from your dentist