How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

Who is the only one that has smoked as much weed as Wiz Khalifa?

Wiz Khalifa's tapeworm.

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?

For smoking in bed.

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What cell carrier do Mormons use?

Virgin Mobile

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

Why did the priest cross the road ?

To screw in the children that were crossing the road

Lubricant Jokes More Lubricant Jokes

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.