What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's ten inches long and white?

Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn't black for once D

What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the table fan say to his boss when he couldn't get to work on time?

Ah-so-late!

What do you call iron man and silver surfer when they work together?

Alloys.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy?

Ted can swim away from an accident.

Brake Jokes More Brake Jokes

What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes?

A screwdriver

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

Rush Jokes More Rush Jokes

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?

I'll get you next slime!

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Intersection Jokes More Intersection Jokes

How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?

If you're a white man, you're free to walk.

What does a traffic cop do when he wins some money?

Buys an intersection for a private business work.