What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

What do Nicki Minaj and Santa have in common?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ?

He had a bee in his suit of armour !

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?

Because of the Ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

Why did it rain on Christmas Eve?

Because of Santa and his Raindeer.

Okay Jokes More Okay Jokes

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?