What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

Why did the blond slap Santa?

He kept saying "Ho Ho Ho" *dum roll - rim slap*

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.

Why should you never shout at a pirate?

Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning

What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

They hit the town and blow a few bucks.

Okay Jokes More Okay Jokes

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!