Toy Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why was the alligator sad?

It had a kiddie meal but didn't get a toy.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What animal lives on the farm and says "moo"?

A bilingual chicken

Why people don't use #YOLO anymore?

Because they lived once

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

A cannibal.

What do you call a building you can't locate?

A warehouse

Philosopher Favorite Toy Jokes More Philosopher Favorite Toy Jokes

What's a philosopher's favorite toy?

Play-doh.

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?

Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* "Oh."

Arrrrrrrrrrr Jokes More Arrrrrrrrrrr Jokes

Why are pirates so mean?

They just ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's

Why did the old man throw the matress out the window?

Dementia

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

Underlay! Underlay!