What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do a dog and a near-sighted gynecologist have in common?

They both have wet noses.

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.