When do you kick a midget in the nuts?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does FIAT stand for?

Fix It Again Tony

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?

Because it was two-tyred.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth?

Our miscarriage.

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What does a nut say when it sneezes?

Cashew.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What is 40ft long and smells like urine?

Line dancing at sun city

What does socialism smell like?

It has a Bernie smell.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.

Why was the legless man immortal?

Because he couldn't kick the bucket.

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What do you call a midget who directs Dirty Jobs?

A Micromanager.

What do dwarves and midgets have in common?

Very little