Currant Affairs
Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.
He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.
Because he couldn't find a Date!
A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."
An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.
Q: What did the samurai do when he was dishonored by his inability to complete the crossword puzzle? A: He committed ritual sudoku.
Treeson
Ask the NSA for a backup.
Telephone, telegram, television, and tell a woman.
