Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Previous Random Joke Next

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ?

Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Light bulb.

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who knows, they never get the house.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do mountains make people laugh?

Because they're hill-areas!

Why don't people like to play uno with Mexicans?

Because they always steal the green cards....

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)?

The lift attendants have jobs.

Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks?

HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?

Once.

What does a Obstetrician and a well written joke have in common?

They deliver

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What is a hipster russian roulette?

You got six cookies and five of them is gluten free.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter