Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Previous Random Joke Next

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did Santa say at the brothel?

Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.