Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Previous Random Joke Next

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic!

What's the difference between Santa and Justin Beiber?

Santa stops at 3 Ho's

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

What did Jesus do to lose weight?

Crossfit

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor?

STOP RESISTING!!!"

How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts !

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

Why isn't there a Jared's for boys?

Oh wait, there is.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!