Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

What do communists do on May Day?

Paint the town red.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

What do you call a cow that has given birth?

Decalfinated.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

Splinter Jokes More Splinter Jokes

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

Little Prick Jokes More Little Prick Jokes

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside