Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What day is /r/Jokes favorite?

Earth Day, it's all about recycling!

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college?

Bison!

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Why did the strawberry cry?

Because his mother was in a jam.

Splinter Jokes More Splinter Jokes

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list?

Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell.

Little Prick Jokes More Little Prick Jokes

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!