2nd Jokes

What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

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What do you call a 2nd grader with no friends?

A Sandyhook survivor...................im so sorry.

What is the time ?

2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !

This joke may have profanity.

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord?

Two flutists playing in unison.

What is that son of yours doing these days ?

2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!

What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor?

The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)

Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time?

Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.

What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at?

Czarcasm.

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What shoes are hard to wear?

Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share.

What do all my friends and my dad have in common?

i didnt have either growing up

1st Jokes More 1st Jokes

What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor?

21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH 1st floor goes: AHHHHHHHHHH

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why is Dubya voting Republican this year?

So he'll only be the second worst president ever.

Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing?

Because they pull out at the last second.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What do you say to Micheal Jackson when he is on the beach?

Get out of my son!

What did aged mother cheddar say to her son the day of school photos?

Looking sharp.

April Fool Jokes More April Fool Jokes

What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

What do you call people who play April Fool's jokes?

Annoying.

April Jokes More April Jokes

Why should I submit a joke today?

Because today's April full!

Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April?

Because April showers, bring May flowers!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you call a Chinese man with one foot?

Taiwon Shou.

What do you call a chinese poker face?

A mahjong face

January 2nd Jokes More January 2nd Jokes

How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.