Bond Mature Jokes

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What does a successful CS:GO bettor spend the money on?

Vacation.

What do women and Spotify ads have in common?

They're both annoying and want your money.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

Who's there ! Bond ! Bond who ?

Bond to succeed !

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

What Austrian girls and wine have in common?

Both mature in a cellar.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

Some people are against shooting guns.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

tenish.

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

Earn Jokes More Earn Jokes

What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?

His red wings.

What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?

Earning Sanders.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

How does a monster begin a fairy tale?

Once upon a slime . . ."

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !