Earn Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the scarecrow earn an achievement award?

He was outstanding in his field

What's the stupidest, most useless comment that can still earn you some karma?

This

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion?

Because it was outstanding in its field

What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?

By selling your camera.

What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?

His red wings.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?

Earning Sanders.

How does a fencer earn their karma?

Ripostes.

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Photographer Jokes More Photographer Jokes

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

Why are photographers always so depressed?

Because they always focus on the negatives.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress?

Wow, you seamstressed out. (I'm so sorry)

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why is a rat when it spins?

The higher it flies, the much.

Why don't you shoo those flies?

Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?

Coagulations!

What is the American national day for vampires?

Fangsgiving Day.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Why are there so many jumpshots in the WNBA?

Because women can't drive

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

Why won't Hillary ever pull out?

She's never finished screwing people.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle?

To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What is a small loan of money?

a small loan of a million dollars"

What kind of money does Mario use?

8-bitcoins