Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

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What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

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What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(

How did the sad clown smile and laugh again?

They told him his wife died recently.

Command Officer Jokes More Command Officer Jokes

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

Why did Will die?

Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: "Fire at will"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and Brits?

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

Ironman Jokes More Ironman Jokes

What do a 45 year old pregnant alcoholic and Ironman have in common?

Both have a little Downy Jr in them.

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

Command Jokes More Command Jokes

What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?

Snout about!

What is the difference between Ironman and Iron woman?

One is a super hero and the other is a command. *I'll show myself out...*

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What do you call a baby Matt Damon?

A new-Bourne

How do you sabotage a space mission ?

Send Matt Damon