Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

How many Karma whores does it take to screw on a lightbulb?

When this reaches 500 upvotes I'll tell you.

What happened when the shoe factory burned down?

500 soles were lost.

Fie Jokes More Fie Jokes

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

Curiosity Jokes More Curiosity Jokes

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

What do you call a suicidal cat?

Curiosity.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross Groot with Santa?

A Giving Christmas Tree

Why did the gold fish cross the road?

To go to /r/antijokes

Oxygen Jokes More Oxygen Jokes

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?

A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam"

David Bowie Jokes More David Bowie Jokes

Who's there? Alan Rickman and David Bowie. Alan Rickman and David Bowie who?

Alan Rickman and David Bowie have both died recently.

What is the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song?

Rebel Rebel!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter?

Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system