Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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Saturn Jokes More Saturn Jokes

What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant?

Did you planet?

What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night?

Piratechnics!

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

Beagle Jokes More Beagle Jokes

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Commander Jokes More Commander Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who is the commander of cheese?

Sargento