Congress Jokes

What bill is the Congress's favorite?

Of course the $ bill!

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What's the opposite of progress?

congress.

How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What do you call a group of Idiots?

Congress

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

A: No fee--If No Recovery!

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

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How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...

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What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

Why do Pokmon have eyes?

So they can pikachu

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

Stunt Jokes More Stunt Jokes

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What's the difference between the strippers and the circus?

The circus has a cunning array of stunts.

Circus Jokes More Circus Jokes

What do performing bears at the circus get for lunch?

30 minutes.

Whats the difference between a circus and The Rockettes?

The circus is a cunning array of stunts...

Aye Jokes More Aye Jokes

What did Goku say when he heard his wife listening to the song, "Fancy"?

Aye, Chi-Chi, Why?

How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?

Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.

Cunning Array Jokes More Cunning Array Jokes

What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts. . .

What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?

A circus has a cunning array of stunts

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

How many feminists does it take to screw a vegan?

Lightbulb.