Congress Jokes

What bill is the Congress's favorite?

Of course the $ bill!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the opposite of progress?

congress.

How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What do you call a group of Idiots?

Congress

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

A: No fee--If No Recovery!

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

You might also enjoy:

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

How many /r/ users does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, one to complain that it has already been done before, and one to repost this joke.

Aye Jokes More Aye Jokes

What is a pirates favourite part of a fish?

The aye

What did pirate say when he turned 80?

AYE MATEY

Cunne Jokes More Cunne Jokes

What's the difference between a gang of pygmy's and a women's track team?

One is a Cunning group of Runts.....

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of babies?

an Infantry

What do you call a group of cars ?

A clutch !

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What does an aardvark use when he has a cold?

An ant-ihistamine!

Why are colds such bad robbers?

Because they're so easy to catch!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb.

Mint Jokes More Mint Jokes

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

Revolve Jokes More Revolve Jokes

How does Kanye West screw in a lightbulb?

He holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.