Fiancee Jokes

Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did Jennifer Aniston find her fiancee?

She looked very Theroux-ly.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married?

Fiancee

Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed?

Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me.

What did the network engineer give to his fiancee?

A token ring.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged?

Fiancee.

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Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?

A forty-carrot wedding ring.

Jay Z Beyonce Jokes More Jay Z Beyonce Jokes

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged?

Fiancee.

Watermelon Jokes More Watermelon Jokes

Why do watermelons have water in Them?

Because they are planted in the spring!

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Nihilist Jokes More Nihilist Jokes

What did the nihilist say to the physicist?

Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.

What did the Nihilist whisper into his lover's ear?

Sweet Nothings.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

What was the last thing Robin Williams said to his wife?

You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why couldn't the candle get any sleep?

Because there's no rest for the wicked.

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.